Zometa and the Broken

I'm sitting in the hospital while my daughter has a scheduled infusion of a medication to stop her bones from breaking. Chemo and liver disease caused her bones to become very weak. If she falls, she could break anything at anytime. She doesn't have OI, she's more like an old lady with osteoporosis.

I've been waiting for inspiration to hit on what to write. So I sat quiet. Mulling. Trying to come up with something. I always write about Bee, so I've tried to be different. I write about her because she's what I know. I would rather stand and lecture a bunch of new residents on how to approach parents of kids like mine than submit my writing for peer review. Why? Confidence.

I'm confident I know her diagnosis and prognosis. I'm confident that I know every medication, every scar, every important detail. I can recite her medical history down to the day like I am performing Shakespeare at the Globe theatre. 

I am not confident that my word choices are correct. I am not confident in my ability to spell. I fear my grammar. I have anxiety about subjects. And I am almost sure that the vast majority do not want to hear of her story. It could be related to my anxiety but it could be a number of things. 

But I am confident...

God didn't give me the story of being Bernadette's mom so that I could sit quietly. Her story, while unique, hits home for so many other mothers out there. They feel the same frustrations. They have the same dreams. We possess the same hope. We love until it hurts. And then we pick ourselves up, wipe the tears and keep going. The women I have met, have become great friends. 

That brings me to my next point. God always gives you a community. For me, I was given the medical world. It may not be the one you want or expect but he will give you one. The question shouldn't be "why don't those other people want my company?" The question should be "how can I serve the Lord this day where he has placed me?"

Today, I am a snuggle buddy. Today I'm an advocate. Today I am a medical mama. Today I am dedicated to Him. As cliche as it is, write this Psalm on a notecard and tape it to your bathroom mirror, your vanity, your refrigerator, anywhere you will see it.

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice in it and be glad"- Psalm 118:25 NABRE.

When we live our day for the Lord, even when the community we long for rejects us, we find joy in those small things around us. Any disappointments that were recently turned around? What are you rejoicing today?

With joy,

Kate