Starting Out and the Meaning to a Name
I have been prayerfully discerning if I should even start a blog, possibly write a book... the list trails on in my mind. To be honest, what makes one person's story "reader worthy" over another? I have not a clue. However, I do know that I have learned so much the last two years about life. About love. About suffering. About true joy. And what I discerned wasn't that one story is more "reader worthy" than another, it is one person fighting the paralyzing fear that holds you back from what God truly has planned for you.
So this is me. This is me trying to fight past my fear of putting myself out there. This is me trying to help another (okay, okay, hopefully many) in their struggle for joy. Through the suffering we CAN find joy. Joy CAN be found in suffering through the mundane, every day trials of motherhood, of womanhood, of personhood. Joy CAN be found amidst the bigger sufferings.
St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said "[joy] is prayer; joy is strength: joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls." Joy and happiness are two different things. Happiness is external (people, places, things, etc.) and is transient. It's best to think of a toddler. My one year old is happy when he's trying to stand on the table to reach the chandelier. As soon as he is removed from the table and instructed to never do that again, he is instantly a wreck, screaming in protest. Joy is internal. We learn to cultivate it and it radiates through all life experiences. As St. Teresa points out it is love.
But, yeah Kate, why thirsting? I am a convert to Catholicism. I spent a grand total of ten years fighting it and trying to enter the church all at once. Mother Teresa always spoke to me even when I was an agnostic and she happens to be who I chose for my confirmation name. She spoke at length about John 19:28 when Jesus said "I thirst." We all thirst for something not just actual drink. Be it love. Be it joy. Be it peace. We all have something we could use more of.
Love, peace, strength, etc. all stem from joy. And once we find joy, all the other pieces fall into place. St. Teresa also liked to say "God is love." If joy is love and God is love, then God is joy. As we turn to the cross we find the true joy that allows us to love, find peace and strength and deal with all our sufferings, both great and small, in a way society doesn't teach anymore...with a hopeful smile.
On a side note, my internet went down twice and this post was deleted five whole times. If that's not spiritual attack, I don't know what is. I digress.
With joy in Him,
Kate